Is it not refreshing to think about the New Year? Only that this year, many of us will not bother to write resolutions. We always lose that piece of paper anyway, right? If only it could stay put- we would be ticking off all those resolutions by now.
It’s nice to assume that we are starting over, even though for a fact we are still sleeping in the same classic three-by-six, wire meshed, metal beds as we did in 2014, same leaking roof-tops on our houses; same patched-up, tired back-to-school shoes; same shady politicians dominating our news; same intimidating yet characteristic names for our villages and markets (Soko Mjinga, Kiamburi, etc.)… Actually, the only thing that may have changed between 31st of December and 1st of January, is the size of our wallets. But we are happy and grateful to be maintaining the blessings and curses of the status quo aren’t we?
There are great prophecies coming along with this New Year though; Let all God’s Children say amen? This year you will receive back what you lost, in fact a double portion, pressed down, shaken together and running over, it is your year of favor… if you don’t believe it, shida yako. Here is another one that you did not hear from your priest. There are numerous ‘small’ blessings that have come with this year- small blessings we are told to count one by one. So that when your boss of thirty years passes on and appoints a newcomer instead of you, as the manager; you will lift your hands and say,
“Lord, thank you, at least I am still breathing.”
Hakuna matata in 2017!
We however need to clean up our lives again for that fresh look and fragrance. Forget about resolutions. Resolutions need money- The kind of money we do not have in January. We need to throw out some trash in our lives. Although we have spent a few days in January and we are beginning to go on our usual activities, we still need to dump a few things from our lives. Here are three suggestions from yours truly, although I recommend you add a few more in your diary:
- Fake friends
We keep on talking about abusive romantic relationships; but we forget about toxic friendships. Am talking about this type of friend that is “too good for you”. The one that you will do anything for, but will eventually spit in your face. The one that will sneer behind your neck as they hug you.
The one that wants you to worship the ground on which they walk on and kiss their feet as if they are some gods. They want to be feared and you are worried that they are holding your key to success, such that if you walk away, you will have to come crawling back… because apparently they also know where the door to your success is.
You say you have a friend, everyone knows you have a friend and yet, when you are hanging out, you can’t help but think,
“Hmm… am lonely, I could use a friend right now”
The day you are ill and in need of their company, their high school friend’s uncle is having their stepson’s god-daughter baptized. Any excuse to avoid you in time of need. The leech that clings to your skin because of what you have, but disappears when there is trouble in paradise.
The friend that is never truly happy for you but chokes at your success; they give you that smile but hope that somehow tonight, a bus will lose its way from the highway to your bedroom, and crush you like a bug.
You feel like you are in a competition against each other. Those are not good friends.
My dear… run!!
Just as good life partners exist, good friends do. You will see them once you drop the toxic ones.
‘Share your weaknesses. Share your hard moments. Share your real side. It will either scare away every fake person in your life or it will inspire them to finally let go of that mirage called “perfection” which will open the door to the most important relationships you’ll ever be part of” ~ Dan Pearce, Single dad laughing.
You might not want to hear this, but the truth of the matter is, you are your greatest enemy. The rules of success are simple, e.g.
“You can do anything you set your mind to”~Benjamin Franklin
Yet, you are the one procrastinating, allowing negative thoughts into your mind, wasting your time and allowing people to step all over you. The truth of the matter is, nobody is coming to save you. Probably you are waiting for a mentor or someone to notice you, like a big CEO of a company you have always dreamt of working in, hoping they will notice how talented you are but just so broke and they’ll help you up. Snap out of it and chase after your dreams.
Even when there is no motivation, push yourself until you see the fruits of your work. Kick excuses and self-sabotage out of your life… Go back to college, get back on that diet and exercise, and complete that novel you have been writing since high school, open a savings account and start saving for your future.
No more excuses… Just do it! There is no other way or any other right time.
“One of life’s fundamental truth states, ‘ask and you shall receive’. As kids we get used to asking for things, but somehow we lose this ability in adulthood. We come up with all sorts of excuses and reasons to avoid any possibility of criticism or rejection.”~Jack Canfield
I am not only talking of romantic relationships, although they are included. Once you know your worth, you will realize that you do not need to compromise your values and dignity. A self-respecting person will still get whatever they need because respect has high bids.
Sweep out any traces of indignity from your life, and you will be happier. You might have fewer friends, but they will be real friends.
Some dirty politicians get a chance to misuse us because we don’t value ourselves. You are not worth 200/- shillings. Our rights and freedoms cannot be bought.
Do not compromise your dignity because you are afraid that you will lose someone or people will hate you. The truth is, everyone cannot be your friend and also, everyone cannot be your enemy. It’s high time you scrape off self-demeaning behavior from your soles and walk with your dignity.
This is a short list; your personal trash list may get longer. I pray that every reader here will have a clean start this year.